On looking through a whole load of agony aunt pages it is clear that there are many women who have become very distraught on discovering that their husband/partner was watching porn.
They ask advice on how to deal with this? They ask whether it is normal for them to feel so bad? And in general one gets the impression that these women have lost a lot of their confidence. They wonder whether their partner still loves them and while the whole issue doesn't seem to have much importance to the men, it seems to play very heavily indeed on the women because they can't understand why men should need to look at other women if they are indeed happy at home.
We seem to come back again to that saying (taken from the book) that women come from Venus and men from Mars because it is so true that men and women are so different.
Usually, and I repeat usually, (because every woman is different and some women can cope quite okay with these situations) a woman places love and sex under the same heading. In other words she won't be happy to have sex with a man unless she is in love with him, but on the other hand a man, being a different species, can divide sex and love and not think much of having just plain sex with no love involved at all.
It seems that when men watch porn it is merely used as an aid for relieving stress and satisfying a physcial need similar to that of needing to go to the bathroom. There is no emotion there, there is no need to worry about the feelings of anyone else but it is just a mechanical function void of anything else and proves that they can easily separate sex from love but women can't seem to understand this.
A woman starts to wonder whether he might in actual fact not be satisfied with the sex that she is able to provide him with, which is where she begins to lose confidence in herself, but here again the difference between men and women is revealed.
After the honeymoon period (usually two or three years) the sexual appetite of a woman tends to calm down. She may have started a family, have to look after the kids, the home and may even go out to work. Sex is no longer the number one thought on her mind as her mind is filled with so many other things. Whereas the man (so long as he is below the age of 60) still has sex on the brain for quite a considerable part of the day and night and especially first thing in the morning, even before he is fully conscious!!!!!!!!!!!!! So he just needs to relieve this automatic physical urge. It is just physical.
Maybe a way of easing the pain of women (who have sons) is to think back to when they discovered for the first time that their sons were masturbating. What did they think to themselves? The most logical thing to have thought was that this was the natural instinct of a young boy growing up. But what they should also have said to themselves is that this natural instinct will never go away. Once it starts, it's for good, whether they stay single or they get married, and at times they will need to watch porn in order to stimulate themselves. But it's hardly ever because they don't love their wives/partners any more.
When a couple can't have a child normally and have to go for artificial insemination, the procedure requires that the man introduce his sperm into a flask so that this sperm can later fertilize the egg of the woman and once done implanted into the womb of the woman. This is done in a clinic and the first thing that the nurses do is to escort the man into a private room where he will find playboy magazines and porn videos for him to watch.
The clinic knows that he will need these in order to get himself aroused in order to relieve himself. And what's more his wife or partner also knows and understand this in fact she knows that he is doing all this precisely for her, so that she can have the baby that she is longing for.
So on closing I would advise all women to first try and turn a blind eye on what their partners are doing and secondly to thank themselves that all these other women that they are looking at are not in 3D!!!!!
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