How to win her heart
However it happened, the two of you are either dating or you, at least, very much want to be dating. You know she at least likes you - she's willing to be seen in public with you. On the other hand, you are in love. Your heart is hers, whether she knows it or not.
So how do you win her heart in return? By being romantic, attentive, fun, expressive, and for real. To be more specific:
1. Cook her a meal. Before you panic, let me just say that if you can read and understand this article, you can read and understand a basic cookbook. Sure, some of the terms may be unfamiliar, but they're usually explained somewhere within the pages. It doesn't have to be a fancy meal - baked chicken, a salad, some rice pilaf (from a box), a bottle of decent wine and some store-bought fancy chocolate anything, and she will be swept off her feet.
However, I would caution against serving anything cooked on a grill like steak or barbecue. Ditto pizza, nachos, or hot wings - even if they're homemade. Why? That stuff is considered "man food." The subliminal message of serving a girl "man food" is: "I consider you to be one of the guys," which is not what you want to say!
I would also advise you to scope out any dietary preferences or food allergies she has before you plan the menu. The time to find out she is a vegetarian is not when you set a pot roast down onto the table. The time to find out she is violently allergic to shrimp is not when you're on the way to the emergency room so she can be treated for anaphylactic shock. Don't try to make the meal a surprise; plan in advance and avoid embarrassment later. Plus, advance notice gives her the opportunity to tell all her friends, "He's going to cook me dinner! That's soromantic!" which will earn mucho brownie points for you in the friends' minds.
2. Find out what she likes to do and do it with her. Whether it's salsa dancing, watching old movies, or volunteering at a local animal shelter, if she's into it, you'd better at least try it. At minimum, she will appreciate your efforts to be part of her "world" and think you're the sweetest guy on the planet for letting her cry on your shoulder at the end of Casablanca. At best, the two of you will be well on the way to building a lifetime of shared memories.
3. If she has family nearby that she sees pretty regularly, learn how to get along with them. You don't have to like them, they're probably as weird as peanut-butter-flavored toothpaste, but they're her family. So be nice. Nice means go to family events when invited, mind your manners, dress appropriately, smile, and don't let her mother (sister, aunt, grandmother) get to you. And don't badmouth the family afterwards.
P.S. This suggestion also applies to any pets she might have. Even ones that yakk up hairballs in your shoes or try to romance your leg. If you want to win her heart, you'll take these little tokens of affection in the spirit they're being offered and not kick the offending critter across the room, verbally or (certainly not!) literally. On the other hand, if you are honestly, truly, life-threateningly allergic to her animal companion, you might want to let her keep her heart and let yourself keep breathing.
4. Disable the "male answer syndrome" button. Yes, you have one. The button works like this: you are presented with a problem by a fellow guy friend, co-worker or other acquaintance. You are then hardwired to come up with a few workable solutions to the problems.
If you don't know already, let me be the one to let you in on a little secret: when the girl of your dreams tells you about a personal, professional, or social problem, she is not, I repeat not looking for you to provide her with a solution. So why is she telling you? Because she's decided that you are a good candidate to offer what she most wants: commiseration and support. Many women, myself included, tackle their problems by "thinking out loud." Preferably with an audience (you) that will provide the proper feedback: lots of mmms, and uh-huhs, and the occasional wow, followed by - if you're lucky - lots of comforting hugs. But listen, really listen to her, and try to save your perfect solution until a) she asks for your advice or b) the end of eternity. Warning: she will know in a flash if you're pretending to listen but are really engrossed in whatever's on the tube or the Internet. And she will take her heart and go home.
5. Clean up nice once in a while. You don't always have to dress like you're going to Wal-Mart at two o'clock in the morning. Even if your Friday date is fast food and a movie, it wouldn't hurt to wear something better than your usual attire. Dressing nice for your girl sends a very strong message: "You're worth wearing (a tie, dress pants, not-sneakers, hair gel) for." Girls get the message, believe me. And we respond positively.
Notice that none of these suggestions require a lot of money, a nice car, a lucrative professional sports contract, or a closet full of designer suits. They simply require that you be you, and that you let her be, well, her.
So go out there and find a good cookbook! And don't forget to give her flowers every once in a while - especially if there's no real reason to do so!
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