101 Suggestions of what a friend can do to help a Breast cancer patient

You are almost as taken aback as your friend was, and her family members were, when you initially grasp the news that someone you love and care about-- has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

One thing is certain now, more than ever, your friend needs you. It's time to step up to the plate, swing the bat, and help them to have a "breast cancer survivor home run." One common dilemma, we as friends, can all have -- is that we too, feel helpless when dealing with cancer.

This isn't a time to think about yourself, but rather seeing this as an opportunity to dig deep and be creative. Your friend is equally dealing with, not only a life-threatening illness, but also powerful overwhelming feelings. In addition, life with a cancer diagnosis goes on -- remember, she still having to fret about paying the bills and thinking about the needs of her family. Having cancer often means a loss of control. It comes with enormous uncertainties about tomorrow.

The affects of cancer spread significantly outside of the physical body. It is a disease, which can alter that a family knows as reality. It can ruin family finances and can even devastate family relationships. Sometimes, just like family, as friends -- we don't know what to say or do to help.

The greatest gift you can give your friend during this difficult time, is the gift of the true spirit of friendship. The gift of friendship comes in many forms, perhaps the best one is to help your friend forget -- just a little while, by doing ordinary things -- together. Now more than ever, she needs a resilient shoulder to rest on.

Here are 101 suggestions, of what a friend can do to help a breast cancer patient:

1. Arrange regularly scheduled days of free babysitting if she has children, so she can rest.
2. Add her to your prayer list and your church's prayer list.
3. Ask her to build a list of household tasks to distribute before she is recovering from surgery or treatments, so you can share them with mutual friends who also want to help.
4. Before she loses her hair, get it colored. Be bold, encourage her to try something new or silly, just for one good laugh.
5. Bring her a exceptional gourmet lunch and have a picnic in her bedroom, complete with expensive china, tablecloth, flowers, and silverware. Make sure you do the dishes before leaving.
6. Bring over the makings of a banana split for the two of you to enjoy together.
7. Bring her breakfast in bed, including her favorite flowers.
8. Bring over some DVDs of old sitcoms, like I Love Lucy, etc. and have a laugh marathon.
9. Bring over some DVDs of great love stories, and have a good cry-a-thon.
10. Bring over a large jigsaw puzzle and puzzle mat for the two of you to work on over several visits.
11. Buy her a massaging foot spa and give her an in-home pedicure.
12.  Buy matching "Cancer Sucks" twill caps
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    13. Buy her a "Beck and Call" bell.
    14. Buy her a relaxing indoor waterfall.

    15. Buy her a luxury bathrobe.

    16. Buy her audio fiction books.

    17. Buy her hand held electronic puzzle game.

    18. Buy her a clock radio with nature sounds.

    19. Buy her relaxation Cd's.
    20. Buy her "Queasy Drops Candies" and "Ginger Treats for Nausea." 
    
    
    21. Buy her a "Lap Wrap" shawl.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    22. Buy her a "Heat-able" shawl.
    
    
    
    23. Call her regularly to tell her something hilarious and tell her again that you love her.

    24. Cook her and her family meals on chemotherapy days.

    25. Create personalized "Do Not Disturb" signs for her to use on yucky days.

    26. Dig out your bread maker, all the ingredients, an assortment of real fruit jams or apple butter, and real butter -- and cart them over to her house. Let her have the benefit of the aroma and comfort food taste of warm fresh baked bread. Make sure you do the dishes before leaving.

    27. Drive her to and from doctor appointments, lab work, chemotherapy and/or radiation treatments.

    28. Drop by with a fruit smoothie or milkshake.

    29. Throw her an outdoor English-style garden party.

    30. Enlist other friends and co-workers to send cards and letters regularly, not just once.

    31. Recruit a few other close friends and have a "surprise" pajama party.

    32. Enlist a few other close friends and have a scrapbook party or form a scrapbook club to give her something to look forward to each week or so.

    Share With Her Your Greatest Gift of Friendship and Compassion by:

    33. If you do nothing else, tell her how daunting this is for both of you, while you swear that you'll be there for her, every step of the way -- and keep your promise no matter what.
    34. Get facials together.

    35. Get therapeutic massages together.

    
    

    

    
    

    36. Get manicures together.

    37. Get pedicures together.

    38. Both of you get wild temporary tattoos and put them in audacious places. Try to fake out your husbands and kids on this one.

    39. Get her a gift basket of spa bath products.

    40. Give her a foot rub and offer to paint her toenails.

    41. Get both of you makeup makeovers.

    42. Have a tea tasting party and sample new herbal teas together.

    43. Give her the fanciest, nicest and prettiest tea set you can afford, and use it often.

    44. If she is up to it, take her shopping for a new outfit. A bald head goes better with younger more edgy styles or wild colors. Pick clothes she'd never try, just for laughs. Take pictures to share with other friends and family.

    45. Shampoo her hair for her.

    46. If she's already lost her hair, give her a scalp massage.

    47. Spend the day together at a day spa.

    48. Give her a "Hat Shower" inviting all of her close friends and family members.

    49. Give her books, lots of books. Try to find uplifting and life affirming novels, mysteries, love stories, biographies, humor, and the latest best sellers. Read the same book -- a book read by two, is always a lot more fun.

    50. Or, work out a plan to pick up and return library books or tapes. Most libraries have free services for the home-bound, Help her set up this up this service. Offer to return the books for her when she is done.

    51. Give her a silver cuff "Warrior" bracelet.

    
    

    
    

    

    
    

    52. Give her a gift certificate to the family's favorite restaurant.

    53. Give her refundable or exchangeable tickets to: the theater; opera; a symphony; a concert; or a charity event. Refundable or exchangeable, because you don't know how she will be feeling on the day of the occasion.

    54. Give her or make her something personal.

    55. Share a passion or talent you have with her.

    56. Give her and her husband a "weekend getaway" at a beach-side resort and offer to baby-sit the kids

    57. Go to an afternoon movie together.

    58. Go to the grocery store for her.

    59. Go to the post office for her.

    60. Help her with the yard work.

    61. Before she has her mastectomy, gather all her close friends and family and have a "Farewell Boobs Party." It can be a ladies night, or even more fun, is to include the men.

    

    
    

    
    

    Let your imaginations run wild in planning this one. The object is to have some fun and laughs, if you are going to lose your boobs, do it in style. Make it an affair to remember.

    62. Ask her out to a special foodie lunch at the finest restaurant in town.

    63. Make her a "get well" portable file box. Include sections in it for:

    • Doctor's information
    • Referral Forms
    • Insurance Explanation of Benefits Booklets (EOB)
    • Disability or Medicare Info
    • Pharmacy and prescription information
    • Doctor Reports
    • Lab Reports
    • Bills
    • Receipts
    • Allergy Lists
    • Emergency Contact Lists
    • Insurance Statements

    64. Plant a butterfly garden for her.

    65. Plant her a container herb garden.

    66. Plant her a container strawberry garden.

    67. Plant spring bulbs along her front door walkway.

    68. Read Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips together.

    69. Regularly throw in a load of her laundry in the washer. Ask how she wants it done, so she feels like she has some control. Make sure, you have enough time to finish the job of drying, folding and hanging up the clothes, before the end of the visit.

    If You Do Nothing Else, Continue to Share With Her Your Greatest Gift of Friendship and Compassion by:

    70. Keeping in regular contact, even if you live far away or work long hours -- call her -- instant message her -- email her.

    71. As hard as it may be, really listen to her about her feelings about having cancer. Don't struggle to make this OK, it can't be fixed. Don't change the subject, just because "you" may feel uncomfortable.

    72. Regularly send her humorous, entertaining, or inspirational cards, articles, magazines, or newspaper clippings.

    73. If her illness is creating financial hardship for her family, host a "Save a Life Yard Sale" or other such fundraisers, on her behalf.

    If you are short on gift money, take up a collection among her friends, and all of you:

    74. Spring for house cleaning services for her, including getting her windows washed.

    75. Take up a collection for getting the carpets cleaned.

    76. Provide for a private chef to come for a week and cook for her.

    More Gift Ideas:

    77. Take her wig shopping (try on outrageous colors, the more ridiculous the better, before she settles on a more practical choice).

    78. Treat her to a paraffin wax therapy. The wax increases circulation and will make her hands or feet supple and silky.

    79. Take her kids out for a entertaining day, just so she can take a break.

    80. Take a watercolor class together.

    81. Take a short oil painting class together.

    82. Take a ceramic class together.

    83. Take a cake decorating class together.

    84. Take a cooking class together.

    
    

    

    
    

    85. Wash and vacuum her car for her.

    86. Forget the "Bucket List" make a "For Now" list of things she feels up to doing, that perhaps she always wanted to do, but didn't make the time for, and get busy doing them.

    87. Make a second list together, "For Later" when she feels better -- of more things to do together.

    88. Make her a homemade appointment calendar, filled with uplifting sayings, get-together days.

    89. Buy her a nice stationary set with enough stamps for every envelope.

    90. Buy her a journal.

    91. Learn a new computer program together.

    92. Learn a new craft or hobby together.

    93. Plan a grand vacation, for when she's feeling better. Plan it out in great detail and have fun researching everything about the destination.

    94. Learn a new language together.

    95. Take her on a hot-air balloon ride.

    96. Plan a museum visit with a few close friends and surprise her with a luncheon nearby.

    97. Buy her some aromatherapy "spa booties" for lounging around the house.

    98. Have a "Celebrating Your Life" party with everyone she loves.

    99. Give her a BFF (Best Friends Forever) mug

    100. Give her a deluxe edition of the book, What Cancer Cannot Do.

    101. Get her a Velcro sided convalescent jacket. (Easy access for Ivs, blood pressure readings while still looking great.It comes in soft blue, pin, lavender, fuchsia, turquoise, and purple.