HOW TO LEAVE A CHEATING SPOUSE

Is your spouse cheating ... are you afraid he/she will leave ... has your spouse admitted to an affair? How do you leave with dignity? What do you do if he/she says one day "I don't love you anymore?"

1. 
   
   Step 1
   Plan your steps one by one save money ... always have a bank account to fall back on.
2. 
   
   Step 2
   Get legal advice promptly you initiate and file the separation/divorce papers.
3. 
   
   Step 3
   Protect your kids they are your most important asset fight for the money to support them efficiently.
4. 
   
   Step 4
   If your cheating spouse (once found out) decides to up and leave "don't shed a tear" atleast not in front of him/her don't ever give them that satisfaction of knowing just how bad they are tearing your world apart.I am speaking from having lived through a divorce years back although i am no advocate for getting a divorce unless there is some type of abuse involved i think at times there is nothing else you can do but to let them leave if they choose.This can become quite complicated when children are involved i actually had to get my ex's permission to leave the state we were living in at the time even though he had basically left us and of course i wasn't from there and had no family up there and no means of support but luckily his focus was on his new relationship so he did give his permission for me to take our kids out of state.This is something i would really think about before getting married and having children because the bottom line is if i had not had his approval to leave the state even though he was the cheater and the one who had basically abandoned his family i would have gotton in trouble and had to bring the kids back.
5. 
   
   Step 5
   Always but always take things that are valuable to you when you leave the marriage for good such as photos, bibles etc ... anything near to your heart. Don't trust that he will send them. Once another man/woman moves in which will more than likely happen he/she may destroy your cherished momentous just out of spite ... trust me i know this first hand..which will obviously prevent your ex from sending these things to you.
6. 
   
   Step 6
   Don't run after your husband/wife once you suspect an affair ... you deserve more. Take time to set up your game plan and when the time is right you can depart the marriage with dignity and knowing you did everything that you needed to do to prepare for life without your spouse.Don't ever allow yourself to depend on anyone 100% you must depend on yourself from day one of your marriage that way if an affair or something happens and for whatever reason your spouse doesn't want to be married anymore you have that back up savings and a means of supporting yourself and your children if you have them.
7. 
   
   Step 7
   Cry it out on a pillow of course but never in front of the cheating husband/wife.Grief for the loss of your relationship but don't torture yourself over a prolonged period of time with the many whys we all like to ask. Allow yourself to be sad but at the same time pick yourself back up...dust yourself off and go out and get all the great things that you deserve which are undoutably coming your way.

Beware the Best Girl Friend

Every relationship is full of traps and pitfalls, and the ones that most often persevere are the ones that feature open communication and an absence of secrets.

Oh yeah… it also helps if the guy doesn’t have a best girl friend, who very well may be lying in the weeds, just waiting for your relationship to falter.

Although almost no one ever agrees with me when I say this, I maintain that it’s nearly impossible for guys and girls to be very close friends without sex getting in the way at some point.

Obviously, there are exceptions to this, such as if significant others are involved and all three or four people are friends, or if the guy or girl is hideously unattractive.

But generally speaking, sex always gets in the way. In my life, I have three very good girl friends, and I’ve hooked up with all of them at one point or another. I believe the only way we’ve been able to maintain these friendships is that we found a way to long ago release the sexual tensions between us and move past that. But believe you me, despite the fact that my physical relationships with these girls had long since ceased, my old girlfriend was forever wary of my friends.

And when I think about it, it makes sense. From a boyfriend’s perspective, you almost always like your best friend more than your girlfriend. You don’t have to deal with the arguments, with the issues, with the “I look waaay too fat to go out tonight’s.”

Instead, you just get the laughs and good times without having to deal with all the excess sh*t that comes with a serious relationship. Moreover, when a guy fights with his girlfriend, the female best friend is the person he’s immediately going to turn to.

After a while, that becomes attractive to a guy. He looks at all the good times he has with his friend, and then begins to compare them with the rough patches that appear in his relationship, regardless of how solid his relationship actually is. If you compound that with any sort of attraction to the friend, well, then the relationship’s headed for trouble. And if you’re looking for a sign, take note of not only how many times he brings his best girl friend, but also how often he lets you know that you have nothing to worry about. These statements are pretty much directly proportionate to how much he’s thinking about her, and how interested he is. Guys don’t even bother denying if they have nothing to hide.

I’m not saying that you automatically have to hate and scorn your boyfriend’s best girl friend. You don’t want to be the jealous girlfriend who precipitates your relationship’s downfall. But do be wary. The female best friend is uniquely able to position herself just so to be there when a guy in a relationship needs her. And you don’t want to be the girl who’s so incredibly trusting of your guy and his best friend that you suddenly find yourself as the one outside of the relationship.