Friday, April 30, 2010

Finding the Perfect Jeans for a Big Booty

Before I begin, let me just start by saying I am the proud owner of some serious booty. I’m half middle-eastern and I take after the women on that side of the family. My older sister (same father, different mother) takes after her (Irish) mother’s side of the family. 10 years ago, while holidaying together, my sister asked our father how you could spot a Persian woman.



His answer? (And I quote) “They’re usually short and have a big butt – like your sister.” That being me. Thanks, Dad.

Actually, I should be thanking him, because until that day, I really didn’t know I had one. I always just thought I was semi-fat, because I could never find a pair of jeans that actually fit my booty. Why? Well, because my legs and waist were a size 6, but my butt so wasn’t having any part of that. Why not? Because Levi’s (and most other brands back then) seemed to think every woman on earth was booty-less. So a butt like mine could only fit into a pair of 10’s.

The problem with that, was the waist was too big and gapped up, making me look 5 months pregnant. Or, the thighs were too big – which made me look like I was packing 10 gallon saddle bags. Ladies, a tip you can apply to most aspects of fashion – clothing several sizes too big only makes you look several sizes bigger. Unless you’re Kate Moss, in which case, you'll just look like you need a ham sandwich, or three.

8 Tips for Finding the Perfect Jeans for a Big Booty:
1. Stretch is your friend!
By “stretch”, I’m referring to jeans that have a combination of cotton and spandex. No, not a lot of spandex. A little dab will do, we don’t want you looking like you belong in an 80’s workout video! How much? 99% cotton, 1% lyrca is a good blend. Just enough to give. We don’t want it getting all out shape to the point it makes you look like you’re the next size up.

2. Dark colors will brighten your day!
If you’re a truly bootilicious woman, you’re probably conscious about your size on occasion. Wearing light blue is the equivalent of wearing white. You will look at least 50% wider in the hips, if nothing else. We want to embrace our booty – cos, let’s face it, big booty is sexy – but we don’t want people focusing on it too much. Dark blue has a nice slimming effect. I personally recommend avoiding black, as it has a tendency to go yuck when it fades. Not flattering.

3. Buy the smallest jeans with stretch that you can *fit* into.
Yes, you read that correctly. And by “fit" into, I mean get all the way zipped and still be able to walk. I say this because stretch jeans WILL stretch a bit. If you buy your regular size, by the end of the day they will be too big in some areas. If you buy the next size down, they will stretch as well, usually resulting in a nice, sexy mold of your body. I am not recommending you wear skin tight jeans and be uncomfortable. I personally hate that look. I’m recommending you buy a tight-ish fit, bum around your house in them for an evening, and then put them away in a pre-stretched mode. Next time you put them on they should feel nice and form fitting, but not uncomfortable.


4. Stick with a classic Boot Cut

If you have a big booty and you slip into some Skinny Fit, Flare or otherwise obviously styled jeans, that is going to draw attention to your jeans, which will only make your booty look bigger. Your best bet is a simple boot cut jean, that straightens your leg and doesn’t draw too much attention to the contrast between thin legs and a big booty. Nor do you want to draw attention to big thighs by wearing something tight around your knee and calves. I see a lot of people recommending a flare leg to even out a big booty and wide hips. My advice is to take each pair of jeans as they come – because this advice often draws people’s attention straight to the waist, hips and thighs – and keeps it there. Which probably isn’t where you want it.

5. Low rise jeans are not as bad as you think.

This style does wonders when you have a normal sized waist, normal hips and thighs, but a big booty. As I mentioned earlier, finding jeans that fit the booty often results in extra material gapping at the waist. Low-rise jeans prevents that for obvious reasons. Just make sure you check the rise – if you are petite from the waist down, a regular low rise jean might still reach your hips, causing the same problem.

6. We want high pockets set close to the center.

You don’t want pockets set low, they will make your booty look saggy. You also want them set close to center, cos the more lateral they appear, the wider your booty will look!

7. And now, the most important part!

The "yoke" is the key factor in the booty coverage. Look at the pic up there and you'll see a nice example of what I mean. The part below the waist and above your pockets – that strip of fabric there – that’s the most important part of the booty coverage! A lot of jeans have a thin, rectangle shape there, which results in little coverage for the arc of a big booty, resulting in the dreaded plumber style. You want this part to form a wide, soft V shape, coming to a point over your pockets. This will help your butt look more curved from the top, and give it a lifted look.

8. Lastly, my jeans recommendation:

You don’t have to spend 200 bucks on a pair of jeans to get good coverage. I have tried countless brands over the years, and nothing suits my booty like The Gap’s Stretch, Low Rise, Straight waist, Boot Cut jeans. I love them, and they are highly affordable. Do you some booty exercises, and your jeans will look even better. Alright, ladies, go out there and get you come booty lovin’ jeans and don't forget - real men love curves!


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